


Hiding

by celestialteapot



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: 'Life During Wartime', F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 20:14:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5715643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestialteapot/pseuds/celestialteapot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes places during 'Life During Wartime'. Hahn isn't one to hide from her problems, but sometimes it's all you can do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hiding

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my LJ in 2009.

For the first time since she was an intern, Erica Hahn was hiding.

She'd practically condemned a little girl to death because all she wanted to do was hide herself in the morgue and work on her research (or at least claim to be working on her research), as the last thing she'd wanted was to interact with people. When forced to, she'd not only made Dr. Bailey's life miserable she'd been unprofessional to the point where she was left wondering if she should have even come in today. Finally, just to make her day just that little bit better Callie had told her she slept with Sloan, twice, and all Hahn could do was say “okay.” It wasn't okay, she wasn't okay and worse still other people were aware that she wasn't okay.

That's why she was hiding. She was also hoping that no one needed anything from this supply closet otherwise they might be inclined to ask why Dr. Erica Hahn, cardio-god was sitting on the floor with her head in her hands.

Unfortunately, that's just what happened. Hearing the door open, Hahn turned her face away from the doorway, she could cope with the question of why she was sitting there (stock answer: she was tired, it was peaceful and people left you alone) but didn't want anyone to see that she'd been crying.

“Dr Hahn?” Bailey asked, moving ever-so slightly into the room.

Bailey really was the last person Hahn wanted to deal with right now. “Bailey, don't... just... go away.”

“Make yourself busy Grey.”

Lexie jumped at being spoken to, she'd been fighting the urge to run away from the moment they'd opened the closet door and discovered Dr Hahn sitting there. “What? Oh... er... yes, sorry.” Turning on her heel she shot off down the corridor.

Bailey moved further into the small room, looked at Hahn before sighing and handing her a tissue. Hahn took it and blew her nose as the other woman lowered herself next to her.

“I don't want to know people's business, I try not to listen to gossip and... I try not to judge. Today you were unprofessional, you were distracted and you were a major pain in the ass. You let your personal life interfere with your work today. That ain't Erica Hahn.”

She'd already had this lecture and really didn't want to hear it again: “Bailey...” she tried to sound threatening but her voice cracked and she sounded more pathetic than anything else.

“Erica Hahn is professional, focussed and doesn't take crap. She doesn't sit around crying in supply closets.”

“I need a moment and I don't need... Just leave me alone. Please.”

“And then what? You go marching around the place making more people feel like crap, people you're supposed to be teaching, co-workers-- ”

“She slept with Sloan and I said 'okay'.” Hahn wasn't sure why she suddenly felt the need to talk about what happened.

“... excuse me?”

“This morning I... I had a revelation. I... came out and she ran. I know she's scared, but we said we'd be scared together and work it out together... but she ran to Sloan. I'm not expecting her to... instead of talking to me she went to him and she slept with him. Twice. I don't know how to deal with this, I... I can't do it.” She couldn't fight the tears any longer, she couldn't fight the hurt and so she stopped. She broke down.

For a moment Bailey was shaken but she quietly put her arm round the older woman and let her cry against her shoulder.

***

Much as Miranda Bailey didn't like getting involved with people's personal lives, she hated problems even more. She might not be Erica Hahn's number one fan but she respected her, she respected her skills and her professionalism. Today she'd wondered where that woman had gone, the sudden change and now she knew and damn if she wasn't going to fix it.

She glanced around Joe's before seeing Callie Torres sitting at a table sharing drinks with a certain Mark Sloan. Taking a breath, she marched over and looked straight at Sloan.

“You. Leave.” He hesitated for a moment. “Now.” Realising she was serious, Sloan collected his drink and left the table. Bailey waited for him to move out of earshot before taking his seat. “You want to tell me why I found Erica Hahn crying in a supply closet?”

Callie looked genuinely shocked: “What?!” she gasped.

“You want to tell me why you're out drinking with _Mark Sloan_ when you should be having a conversation with someone?”

“Bailey...”

“Shut up. I don't like listening to people's personal problems but for some reason people like to tell me their personal problems. The last person I want to be hearing personal crap from is Erica Hahn, particularly after what that damn woman put me through today. You need two need to sit down and talk like the adults you're supposed to be. You're in an adult relationship, act like it!”

***

Bailey had been right. Bailey was always right. Callie shouldn't have just walked away when Erica said "okay", she should have sat down and talked properly. It didn't matter that Erica was on-call that night, they could still have a conversation, or they could have just hung out together like the friends they were supposed to be.

She knew Erica watched her walk out of the hospital with Sloan, she'd fought her instincts to turn but she didn't want to see the hurt in Erica's eyes, she needed to talk to someone and maybe that person shouldn't have been Sloan but he was her person. She needed to talk about what she'd done, what it meant and how she needed to do better to fix it.

She was about to start checking supply closets when Lexie Grey had come up to her and quietly said that Hahn was sitting in the break room staring at the cup of tea Lexie had been sent to get. Thanking the intern, Callie hurried off to the break room hoping that Erica had drunk the tea as she was a afraid it might be thrown at her.

“Erica?” Callie nervously stepped into the room. Erica looked tried and her eyes were red rimmed, the tea had gone and been replaced with a coffee cup.

“Don't tell me, you slept with Sloan again.” Erica tried to sound sarcastic but knew she just sounded hurt.

“No... I...” Callie closed the door. “You're not okay with any of this are you?”

Hahn sighed “I don't know how to do this. I've never... I'm scared because of how much I want you, how much you've made me realise. I thought I knew who I was, I thought that I'd reached a point in my life where I got it. But... but you came along and... all that's changed. I don't have anyone to freak out to. ”

Taking a breath, Callie moved to sit down opposite her. She'd tried to explain before about what happened but when she'd told Mark what she said he'd cringed and said that, that wasn't much of explanation. He'd been right, she needed to explain properly.

“I... I slept with Mark because I wanted to see what you saw this morning. I wanted that certainty because I gotta tell you, with you everything is... awesome. I can be myself, I don't have to pretend or have to force anything. You just let me be who I am, and that hasn't happened for a long time. Not even with George. Mark is my friend, he gets me... he got how I felt about you before I was ready to see it. I needed him today to make me see what I was missing, and I saw it. I saw that you are the person I want to be with. I might not be 'extremely gay' but I know I'm not straight.”

“Okay.”

“Please don't just say that.”

“We said we'd take this slowly. We got carried away and rushed into things without really talking about what the hell we're doing. Callie, I don't want to loose you as my friend but I don't think I could stand it if we went back to just being friends.”

“I don't think I could stand it either.”

“Let's start this again, freak out together and figure it out together.”

“Definitely. Do it properly. Date. Fill in the Chief's pervy form.”

“You really want to to that?”

“Yeah, I... I think I do. I'd also like to walk out of the hospital holding your hand but... you know, we don't have to. If you want to... keep this quiet.”

In the following silence, Erica leaned over and took Callie's hand in hers. She looked up and saw the blond smiling, and Callie smiled too.


End file.
